you never know what they're going to bring home from school these days.

i was in the living room when E burst into the house.

"hey mom!" he called to me from the kitchen.

"hey mom! i have three balls!!!"

i didn't answer, as i like to proceed with caution in any conversation involving balls.

"moooom!" (giggles) "i've got THREE balls! guess what kind they are!"

"uhh..." i was nervous, "um, basketball, soccer and football?"

"football is one kind. but i have TWO more! guess what kind they are!" this was followed by more giggles.

i was getting increasingly uncomfortable but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"i don't know, E, maybe golf and a wiffle ball?"

"nope!" (fits of giggling) " i have TWO and they are the same kind!"

two balls? the same kind? uncontrollable laughter? it could only be one thing.

that was it. i wasn't going to stand for this first grade immaturity. and also, this was a completely inappropriate way to be joking around with one's mother.

"E! are you saying something kind of naughty?!?!" i stormed into the kitchen.

only to encounter my giggling son...

...holding his football and TWO oranges.

oh.