the bright side

after dealing with my own fresh cold all day,

i just wiped the diarrhea from both my children's backsides,

sent them to bed with puke buckets

and strict instructions to come get me if they threw up or pooped their pants.

but i'm looking at the bright side:

i just got a free ticket to skipping church and staying in pajamas all day tomorrow.

you never know what they're going to bring home from school these days.

i was in the living room when E burst into the house.

"hey mom!" he called to me from the kitchen.

"hey mom! i have three balls!!!"

i didn't answer, as i like to proceed with caution in any conversation involving balls.

"moooom!" (giggles) "i've got THREE balls! guess what kind they are!"

"uhh..." i was nervous, "um, basketball, soccer and football?"

"football is one kind. but i have TWO more! guess what kind they are!" this was followed by more giggles.

i was getting increasingly uncomfortable but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"i don't know, E, maybe golf and a wiffle ball?"

"nope!" (fits of giggling) " i have TWO and they are the same kind!"

two balls? the same kind? uncontrollable laughter? it could only be one thing.

that was it. i wasn't going to stand for this first grade immaturity. and also, this was a completely inappropriate way to be joking around with one's mother.

"E! are you saying something kind of naughty?!?!" i stormed into the kitchen.

only to encounter my giggling son...

...holding his football and TWO oranges.

oh.