so i'm not sure how it happened ( i think it was pre-childless weekend induced delirium) but i scheduled not one, but TWO playdates in my home this week.
the first of which was today.
on the ride home E and his little friend tobias were discussing
the various delights of the movie star wars.
tobias: "let's pretend we're star wars guys when we get home!"
E: "yeah, yeah!! i'll be annakin!!"
K (trying to hang with the big boys): "i gonna be wuke skywalkuh!"
tobias :"guys! guys! i'm gonna be darth balls!"
we all stopped. i prayed to God that the small child was not saying what i thought he was saying.
tobias: "you know who darth balls is, don't you?"
i held my breath. my children looked confused.
"you know! darth balls!...like my balls!" (pointing toward his crotch)
i think i puked a little bit in my mouth as E and K stared at him silently, puzzled looks on their faces.
"your balls, like by your penis! isn't that funny? hahahahahahahahha!!!"
i don't exactly know what transpired next. the roar inside my head was too loud (what is haaaaaappening?!?!?) to pick up the remainder of the conversation as it deteriorated further into the gutter.
i think i managed to mumble something lame like 'we don't do potty talk at our house..' but mostly was just trying to concentrate on getting us all home asap.
not like home was any better...
my head was still reeling as we walked to the porch. i was lost in thought, anticipating the questions that were sure to come later and the inevitable incorporation of the new word "balls" into our everyday life.
i turned the key to the front door. tobias stepped inside first, stopped, sniffed the air and declared,
"heyyyyyy! your house has a STINKY smell!"
oh. my. word.
i'm pouring myself a shot of whiskey and hoping thursday's playdate starts a little more smoothly.