Friday, October 26, 2007

dear zoloft mom 3

it's fan mail friday* again! so soon!

dear zoloft mom,

my firstborn is quite a high maintenance child. he looks to be about the size of your older child. i am wondering two things:

1. where exactly did you purchase his cage?
2. approximately how many holes would you say the cage needs in order for the child to have enaugf ir for life?

thank you in advance,
needing a moment (or an hour) of peace.
--------------------------------------------------------

dear needing,

thank you for your question about the cages. i have received so many inquiries about this item!

you are right to conclude that a cage may be the solution for hectic days with your child. i can't tell you the peace of mind i feel when my son is in his! i can sit back, read the paper, get dinner made... it is so useful.

so on to your questions.

1. my particular cage was purchased at ikea. now, i know that not everyone is so blessed to live near this wonderful store. so please do not worry if you are in this group. with a little creativity you can find a child cage in your area as well!

there are so many different, everyday household items that can be used to restrain your child in a pinch. would you believe mine is a laundry hamper? you could also use a garbage can (with lid, of course), a chest of drawers, even a large duffel bag! once you open your eyes to the possibilities you will find they are everywhere.

2. air holes. this is very important to remember. with out the proper ventilation the whole situation could take a tragic turn. please be sure to ensure you have adequate irflow for the age and size of your child. i have come up with a formula that might serve as a good starting point for you:

( weight of child in kgs. x amount of time to be in cage) / age of child = number of holes for enaugh ir.

i hope this information has been helpful and wish you the best of luck! write us back soon and tell us all the things you have been able to accomplish!

have a great weekend!
zoloft mom


* to my readers: please note that all letters in "dear zoloft mom" posts are real, from actual fan mail received each week. if you have a question or problem relating to parenting and would like zoloft mom's help, write to: zoloftmom@juno.com.

7 comments:

Dave said...

Zoloft Mom/Nurse,
It was great meeting you when you came out to Chicago to see Erin. I'd hate to see you end up like this:
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hsbsHu5re38LwRv9mHjhf-hVnB9AD8S6PFI00

Just a friendly note to remind you - if you're going to use a cage, don't let them escape! Obviously, that's where the parents in the linked article went wrong.

-Dave

Dave said...

ok, try this link for the article

Jerseygirl89 said...

Too funny!

gff said...

Imagine how a mother feels when she realizes her daughter has come to this point - a consultant, with thousands, perhaps millions, of searching parents approaching her for guidance - and receiving such unbelievable advice. It brings me to tears....gff

zoloftmom said...

thank you, mom. i only want to make you proud.

Anonymous said...

You crack me up and your blog always gives me a great laugh and a huge smile. Thank you for that becasue I need it, as I am a mother of two. Oh! By the way I love your parenting style too.

Moroun said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.