i have come to a realization. no, i have realized it long ago but only now am i owning it:
my car is a pigsty.
no more pretending when i'm around my clean carred mommy friends that they are just catching me and my car on an off day.(oops! i am TOTALLY on my way to the car wash right after this! can you believe that bird pooped on the front and back AND side of my car just on my way to school? )
guess what, guys? that's a damn lie! that bird poop has been there for a month!
and you know how i acted all shocked like that door ding on my passenger side was something new i was seeing for the first time? it wasn't. it's been there at least a year.
no longer am i going to hurry to the car after kindergarten, shove my kids in and rush to slam the door before any of the soccer moms catch a glimpse my back seat with its crushed goldfish crackers, shredded toy magazines, dirty tissues, half empty sippy cups, E's crumpled homework assignment, 12 pacifiers, the donut from last saturday and the bagel from this morning's breakfast as well as countless (dirty) items of my children's clothing.
no more excuses. no more charades.
i'm just a dirty, dirty girl with a nasty, shithole car that i don't even try to keep clean anymore.
damn, that feels good.