another loooong friday afternoon

why do i bother?

WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER??????

E is so very, very, very wiry when he gets home from because he is TIRED.

so i try to make him take a quiet time in his room for 45 minutes. all he is required to do during this time is to remain in his room and do things that are of a semi-quiet nature. this should not be difficult.

today this is what he did.

he first decided he was a puppy and, after whining in his doorway for the 5 minutes it took me to put his brother down for a nap, dragged his stuffed animals with his teeth to make this pile just outside the door to his room:

when reminded that he was to stay within his bedroom's four walls, he retreated..

...and then proceeded to open and shut the door to his room for the next 5 minutes.

i calmly went over to his room and asked him in a nice voice if he would please fucking stop it.

he did.
and actually found something quiet to do for maybe 7 minutes.

then he came out and asked if his quiet time was done yet (despite having a clock in his room)...

...and showed me the lego blaster he had made and tried to discuss the specifics of this particular gun compared to the other ones he has made in the past ("see how this shooting part is longer? and the trigger is different. but mommy, i just want to show you how i used this one long piece in the handle...")

then he went to the bathroom..

...on the way back stopped to ask if quiet time was done yet....

...and came back out two minutes later to beg in his whiniest voice,"pleeeeeeeez, can i juuuuust come sit by you if i promise to be reaaalllly quiet? it's so haaaaard to be in there by myseeelf."

i sent him back three times.

after the fourth request he broke me down. unable to bear the constant interruptions any longer, i said he could sit on the couch if he DIDN'T TALK AT ALL.

he promised. of course.

but then two minutes later was telling me about this cool craft they did at school and wondering if we could do it too. did we have any scrap paper? because mrs. h, his teacher had this really cool paper they used and they cut it into shapes and then they glued it to paper and it was really, really, fun and cool and...

...can i have some candy? whhhhyyyyyy not?

... can i have a piece of pie?

...then he showed me five pictures of dogs he found in his book...

... and moments later fell off the couch (on purpose) and rolled on the floor as he attempted to sneak toward the kitchen and escape into the backyard.

at which point i lost my mind and sent him back to his room for the remainder of the time.

he now has five more minutes to go and just came out dressed like this:

....to ask me if he could have a playdate with EVERETT.

seriously.

this is why i drink.