santa talk

we are thinking about getting a pet for christmas. remember the kitties? E has been obsessed with getting an animal since then and asks all the time.

"pleeeeeeeeeeeez can we get a dog or a cat or something, mommy? pleeeeeeez?"

and because this whiny talk disgusts me and is as annoying as fingernails on a chalkboard i always say,

"no"

(i tell myself i am not being mean, just secretive.)

today E and i were sitting in the living room together when suddenly he burst into tears.

"I'M JUST SO MAD THAT YOU WON'T GET ME A PET FOR CHRISTMAS!! I ALWAYS ASK YOU AND YOU JUST SAY NO!! AND SO I'M JUST GOING TO GET MY OWN PET!! I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO LISTEN TO YOU ANYMORE!!"

clearly he was a bit upset.

i tried to console him.

"E, that's just what i have to say. you know i can't say yes to anything you ask for for christmas. then you would know what you're getting."

"IT'S NOT FAIR!! I WANT A PET AND I'M GOING TO GET MY OWN OR RUN AWAY AND HAVE MY OWN DOG IN MY OWN HOUSE!!"

i realized my logical approach was not working. what this boy needed was hope.. but what could i do?

me: "hey! you've asked me, but did you ask santa yet?"

now, this is a ridiculous thing i did. we have never talked about santa in this house. at least we've never talked about him as being real. it's just never been an issue. so i was on new ground with the introduction of the santa-as-real concept.

E stopped. blinked.

E: "but mommy, he's not real."

me: "how do you know?"

E: "i've just heard people talking about it." (he was obviously confused, never having heard the type of talk come out of his mother's mouth.)

me: "like who?"

(pause.)

E: "uh, you. right, mommy?"

poor buddy. his world was turning upside down and i was causing it. but what other choice did i have? i just couldn't handle a meltdown. so i kept going.

me: "he's in the mall, isn't he?" (again, new ground. we hardly ever go to the mall.)

silence as E paused to consider this.

"well, how do you know if that one is a real one?"

"ummmm..i guess you'd just have to figure that out." (i hadn't really thought this conversation through, was totally winging it. still, i tried to appear confident.)

what transpired after this point was a bit more back and forth between the two of us, as i convinced my five-year-old son (who has, may i remind you, never believed in santa in his entire life) that the man might really exist.

which led to him writing a letter to santa and posting it on the mailbox. this almost caused another meltdown as the boy does not really know how to write, but when we figured out that santa would understand drawings just as well as words all was right again in the world.

so there the letter sits, waiting for the mailman to come tomorrow.
("mommy, if i just write 'the north pole' will they know where to take it?)

all because i wanted to give a little boy some hope.