and so the other day as K napped i decided i would try to get some shut-eye as well. E was contentedly reading his books on the couch near me and i asked him to please wake me in a half an hour.
"when the big hand is on the three, that's when you wake me up."
he seemed agreeable enough. he never really loves it when i nap, he'd rather have my full attention every minute of the day. but this time i was actually surprised at how well he did as i slept.
quarter after the hour came quickly and E awakened me, as instructed.
"time to wake up, mommy. the big hand is on the three!" what a sweet boy.
i was still wiping the sleep boogers from my eyes and trying to get my bearings when i noticed that the child was standing next to me expectantly.
i looked up.
he was holding a neatly folded white piece of paper in his hand and had a slight grin on his face as he gazed down at me.
E: "i have something, mommy. but i don't think you'll like it."
( i was intrigued. but i knew by now that if i acted too interested he'd never show me. the trick was to play it cool.)
me: "oh, mhmm?"
he clutched the paper a little tighter.
E: "i drew something while you were sleeping, mommy, but i can't show you cuz i think you'll be mad."
the grin on his face widened and i detected a glint of mischief in his eyes.
(now i had to see it!)
i got up and walked into the kitchen in an effort to appear completely bored.
me: "oh, that's fine. i don't want to see it anyway."
(i prayed that my plan would work.)
there was silence in the living room as he deliberated. i held my breath.
E:"oh.... okay, mommy. i guess i'll show you.. but you're gonna be mad."
he unfolded his paper to reveal his sketch:
"Not to the thre", by ERH
in which E, disgruntled at being asked
to rouse his mother at quarter past the hour,
chops of her hed with a hatchet
as she cries in protest.
in which E, disgruntled at being asked
to rouse his mother at quarter past the hour,
chops of her hed with a hatchet
as she cries in protest.
well...
i suppose i asked for it.
7 comments:
I love that you're all birds.
amazingly brilliant child. Twisted, but brilliant. gff
HILARIOUS. Sorry. but that is hilarious.
wholly shit!
Home Depot sells very affordable door locks and I hear they are quite simple to install. After being previewed to E's demented drawing, I think it would be wise to sleep in a secure environment. Don't you??
If E asks Santa for a "real hatchet" what are you going to do? Hmm?
You had me bent over at the waist and my husband asking me what I was crying (laughing about). Love your blog zoloft mom.
Holy Hell that's funny!
I think that reminds me of Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. that's a character from TV, which is a device that can sometimes be used to watch things other than Sesame Street or Barney or whatever the hell it does now at your house.
C is for Cookie... that's good enough to kill your mother.
Post a Comment